...always said I would be jetting across the country for college. I said I'd have no connections back to Plano, that I'd start anew in some cold, non-Texan city and adjust to making new friends and the freezing weather with grace and poise. That I'd be the charming southerner without ever having to actually come back to the South.
But the truth is, as much as I loved the Northeastern schools that fit into my life plan, I changed this year. "My Give a Damn's Busted." It's harder for me to make friends than it used to be, and whether that's due to the thousands of little stresses I finally let get to me or just my utter inability to try, the fact of the matter is, UT is the best place for me now. I'll be close to home in case something happens, but I can make Austin as far as I want it to be. I'll know enough people that I wont be completely overwhelmed, but I'll have 50,000 new friends to change me even more. College is about growth. Who's to say I wouldn't run to the Northeast and become the exact same person I am now, with warmer clothes?
And then there's the whole My Two Best Friends I've Ever Had Are Going To UT Also thing. I tried so hard not to let that affect my decision, but it did. And I'm relieved. Kimberly and Allison and I have been best friends for literally longer than my memory can go back. Facing not just one change but the ten million that come with college and growing up and striking out would be impossible. And when I invariably do something stupid, they'll always be the ones to let me know how stupid it was and then remind me how much better I am than that. And when I do it again, they'll laugh and make it a nickname. And there's really nothing I'm going to need more than that next year.
"so that's that."
pieces.
kelly
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Have
...you ever actually thought about a hug? Like the act of hugging another person? It's so weird. It's simultaneously the most primitive and complex way of expressing emotion without any words or sounds messing it up. Hugs probably existed before languages. When cavemen communicated with grunts and hand motions, hugs had long been accepted as a way to express love. Or even just like. Hugs are good at ambiguities like that.
Consider it. Strip away the clothes and the makeup and the general facade of everyday life and all we have left is our body. Our body that houses our brain for thinking and our heart for feeling, if you're the romantic type, and everything else for processing and moving and ensuring that we get where we want to go, when we want to get there, with no delay. Completely involuntary. Hugs have no need for medecations or remedies, they're more simple than that. One can even consider a hug a remedy in itself, atleast for abstract things like lonliness or anxiety.
It's basic. Humans want to share things, it's the way we're trained since birth. And, running the risk of sounding like a birds-and-bees talk, when you get right down to it all we can really share, all we really and truely own, is our body. Is a hug. And sometimes they're awkward, and sometimes they're unexpected, but do you ever walk away from a hug really regretting it? Of course you don't. Because at the least, a hug is a hello, a goodbye. But at the most? A hug is a declaration. I miss you, I love you, or maybe just 'I can love you'. At the most it's a promise. And when we're old and decrepit and words fail, hugs won't. Parting might, but hugs will never fail.
Consider it. Strip away the clothes and the makeup and the general facade of everyday life and all we have left is our body. Our body that houses our brain for thinking and our heart for feeling, if you're the romantic type, and everything else for processing and moving and ensuring that we get where we want to go, when we want to get there, with no delay. Completely involuntary. Hugs have no need for medecations or remedies, they're more simple than that. One can even consider a hug a remedy in itself, atleast for abstract things like lonliness or anxiety.
It's basic. Humans want to share things, it's the way we're trained since birth. And, running the risk of sounding like a birds-and-bees talk, when you get right down to it all we can really share, all we really and truely own, is our body. Is a hug. And sometimes they're awkward, and sometimes they're unexpected, but do you ever walk away from a hug really regretting it? Of course you don't. Because at the least, a hug is a hello, a goodbye. But at the most? A hug is a declaration. I miss you, I love you, or maybe just 'I can love you'. At the most it's a promise. And when we're old and decrepit and words fail, hugs won't. Parting might, but hugs will never fail.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
One Minute
Write about a way you need to catch up in your life.
I could write about how much work I have to catch up on, because I do. Not that I have a desk job with quotas, just the usual teenage English papers and science tests. But instead, I'm going to write about ketchup. I hate ketchup so much. I actually compiled a short list of foods I hate and it really spans a lot. Like...ranch. Just the smell makes me want to die. And bologna. I already distrust that food because of its sneaky spelling, but it is really just disgusting. And couscous. That one I’m not sure how to spell, but it's all we ate on the mountain and therefore I cannot stand it. Maybe I associate a lack of oxygen and ten hour hikes with tuna couscous and that's why I hate it? Whatever, it's gross. Also on the list is blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, fish of any kind, duck because that shouldn’t be eaten at all, pork "because it isn’t kosher"....that's all I can remember. This is one minute. This is all I’m writing. I'm devoid of inspiration.
I could write about how much work I have to catch up on, because I do. Not that I have a desk job with quotas, just the usual teenage English papers and science tests. But instead, I'm going to write about ketchup. I hate ketchup so much. I actually compiled a short list of foods I hate and it really spans a lot. Like...ranch. Just the smell makes me want to die. And bologna. I already distrust that food because of its sneaky spelling, but it is really just disgusting. And couscous. That one I’m not sure how to spell, but it's all we ate on the mountain and therefore I cannot stand it. Maybe I associate a lack of oxygen and ten hour hikes with tuna couscous and that's why I hate it? Whatever, it's gross. Also on the list is blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, fish of any kind, duck because that shouldn’t be eaten at all, pork "because it isn’t kosher"....that's all I can remember. This is one minute. This is all I’m writing. I'm devoid of inspiration.
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