The Stars

There's something really humbling about the sky.

Besides the fact that it's large and we're small, and besides the fact that it's old and we're new, the fact that the sky is this vacant, looming infinity always reminds me that i'm still tiny, no matter how big I feel.

I was thinking about this at Feed my People this morning. I do my best thinking at 4:45 am. That's a lie, I do little to no thinking at 4:45 am, typically. But this morning, watching the homeless people of Austin get their coffee (with lot's of creme and lot's of sugar, as i've learned) was so reassuring. No matter how hard of a week I've had, no matter how many pathetic emails I send to my mother or whining sessions I have with Allie, Feed my People is the same. There will still be a few hundred people waiting outside of the church on Tuesdays and Thursdays, waiting for what probably will be the most sufficient meal they have until the next Tuesday or Thursday. They will still stand in line for coffee, and they will still fill their cups halfway with creme and sugar, spilling everywhere. And when i'm not there, someone else will hand them their tiny styrofoam cups and wish them good morning.

Knowing things go on without you is like a simultaneous slap in the face and firm shaking. We aren't that important. Life does, and will, go on, whether we're conscious of it or not. There's no need to take yourself too seriously because in the scheme of things, we're milliseconds on the hands of time. There's so much less pressure when you realize that in ten years, the mistakes and the decisions you made will be memories, and 100 years, they'll be even less than that. In a thousand years you'll be smaller than a grain of sand on a beach and there will be new people, with new worries and new choices, realizing just as we have to that none of it really matters.

But about the sky. It's nice to know that even when you forget to look up for a while, it's still there, ever expanding. We see a star's shine long after it's dead, but humans don't get that luxury. It's a blessing and a curse, to be this ephemeral. But regardless, we're small. And we can't change everything. And all in all, this life is precious and shouldn't be wasted, but it isn't so fragile. It doesn't need to be protected, it needs to be embraced.

All we have is tomorrow

kbye
kelly


kelli fuqua I'm sorry this isn't exactly what you're looking for... <3